Well, we are getting ready to make a trip to Houston to see my dad. He is really declining in health, and we don't know how much longer we will have him here with us. This may sound really morbid, but we have already begun preparing our hearts, and talking with the girls about "when God takes PaPa home". The opportunity to talk to Brenna and Taylor about death has been good. We have had family and friends pass through the years, but the idea of their "Papa" going home is a bit harder to swallow. We have talked about our bodies being perfected and that Papa will no longer have to take any medicine, have any pain, and best of all, he will see God face to face. We have the wonderful memories of the fun things we have done together and such.

I think the thing for me is that my Daddy will no longer be in pain. I have watched him over the past 10 years decline and have ached in my heart as he has ached in his body. One time he told me on the phone that he was afraid to die. I asked him why, and he said that he didn't want to leave mom. That made my heart melt. My parents have been married for over 50 years. They haven't all been the happiest of times (but who has a marriage that doesn't have unhappy times) but they have stuck together through it all. They have lived out "in sickness and in health", they have lost children, grandchildren, and watched friends age and pass away. They have witnessed their children marry, they have 3 beautiful granddauters, and many friends that they may not talk to everyday, but have ALWAYS been there.

I will always remember my Dad on the sidelines for me at track meets that lasted forever, him driving to different states to see me run, and the encouragement he has always given me. I will never forget how nervous he was when he walked me down the aisle at my wedding, or how excited he was to hold his first grandchild, then the second, and now the third. He has loved me, even when I know I didn't deserve it, and has taken care of me in so many different ways. I love my dad.

It hit me the other day that this trip to Houston MAY be the last time I see my dad alive. That is hard to take in. But still, there is a peace. I know that he is going home. I think that is what has gotten me through to this point in realizing that my dad is at the end of his mortal life.

OK. so this post has been a bit depressing, or whatever you want to call it. But, it has been quite therapeutic for me.